Awakening
by lillianwest1
Summary: [An alternate ending to divergent, as if the war never happened] The struggle continues for the divergent of the city, and sixteen year old Calah Eaton is no exception. Caught between the vision of a safe life alongside her parents in dauntless and what is right, Calah will fight to save the ones she loves.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello fellow divergent lovers! I will try to mention this in the upcoming chapters, but the war never happened. However, the divergent are still under threat from the erudite. This is years into the future, and the daughter of tris and tobias is now sixteen. I'm writing as if she was born soon after initiation ended, though it's not too important. There are some characters that I left out because they were not really pertinent to the story. Sorry. Lastly, this is my first fanfiction, as I am only fourteen, but if you have any suggestions or comments I'd like to hear them:] Hope you enjoy!**

Awakening Chapter 1

The word _inconclusive_ torments my brain. How can the test results be inconclusive- my test results?

I look at myself in the floor length mirror that hangs neatly beside my bedroom door. There are dark circles clinging to my grey-blue eyes, and my cheeks are colorless. I look exhausted. I neatly brush my hair, pull it back into a braid and stand staring at my reflection for what seems like the first in a long time. There is nothing special about my appearance. My nose has always seemed too large for my otherwise small face, and I have always been delicate looking and flat-chested. My hair is long and about the same dark brown as my father's. It is not really beautiful like some of the other dauntless girls', but it is one of the few truly feminine aspects of myself.

I bring my eyes down, no longer wanting to think about myself in that way and turn back towards my door. I take a deep breath. Before I can stand to lose all of my courage, I push open my door as quietly as possible and step into the hallway, heading towards the kitchen. I brush my hands against the rough brick that lines the exterior wall of my family's apartment. All I can do is hope that it will not be the last time. My parents talk discreetly to each other, which is unusual for them. They don't bother to hide anything from me.

I keep my head down as I walk over to one of the cushioned black bar stools. Unfortunately, they notice my expression immediately.

My mother walks over to me, gently placing a hand on my shoulder. "What's wrong, Calah?" She is always overly concerned for a dauntless parent. I know it is because she grew up in abnegation.

I force a smile for them and open my mouth but stumble over the words. There is no way that I can possibly reassure them- reassure them that I will not leave dauntless. But, I could never leave my family, my friends, my faction. Could I?

"About tomorrow, at the choosing ceremony…" I try to force the words.

"You don't have to tell us", my father says, sitting down next to me. I know that I am not supposed to tell anyone my aptitude test results or what faction I will choose, but now I need to.

"Mom, Dad, tomorrow I will... choose dauntless. You deserve to know that." I hope that it is convincing, because right now I am not entirely sure that it is the truth.

My parents smile and pull me into their arms. I nod slightly in acknowledgement and slip back to my room. I lay down, feeling myself being pulled deeper and deeper into sleep.

I am brave. I am selfless. I am divergent.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry that the first chapter was a little short, but I generally tend to write a lot of short chapters compared to a few long ones. It will become more interesting within the next couple of chapters. I promise. But, I thought that it was necessary to go through choosing before any talk of initiation. -Lil**

Chapter 2

I was surrounded by mirrors once again. I looked down at my black tank top, fitted leather pants and combat boots. But when I looked up to the mirrors, I stood with loose fitting, grey cotton covering every inch from my neck to my toes and my hair pulled into a tight knot on the top of my head.

"Choose!"

I sit up in my bed, gasping for air. It was just a dream. My hands run their way down my face, before smoothing down my hair. The clock on my bedside table reads 1:42.

There is no use in trying to go back to sleep. The last thing I want is to see myself in the testing room again. I swing my legs over the side of my bed, attempting to regain feeling in them. Slipping on a pair of old sneakers, I sneak another glance at myself in my mirror. My hair is still relatively confined to a simple braid, and I have on a pair of sweatpants and an old t-shirt. I shift my door open slightly. Both of my parents must have already gone to bed.

I walk out to the living room as quietly as possible. The floor creaks with every movement under the familiar black carpet. I open the door, knowing that neither of my parents will wake up before I get back. With that last thought I leave, sinking further into the dauntless compound.

I follow the halls to the pit, where I've spent part of every day of my life. Looking up, all I see are the narrow stone paths connecting the caverns, holding numerous shops, under the massive glass ceiling. Its times like these when I know that dauntless is where I belong.

My steps echoes off of every wall, signaling that not even the drunken members that fill the bars, are still out. I am all alone.

After an hour or two, I manage to wander back to my apartment, flop off my old sneakers, and climb back into bed.

"Calah", I hear my father's calm voice above me. I sit up and rub the sleep from my eyes.

"Today is the choosing ceremony", he says striding back towards my door. I have never understood how he gets up so easily in the morning. In that instance, I am more like my mother.

My father turns back to face me, once he reaches my door. "I am proud of you." He smiles softly at me.

Once he has left, I get up and search through the stack of clean clothes on my desk. I settle for a pair of dark skinny jeans and a halter-neck, leather tank top that falls just above my belly button. We would not be starting training today, so there was no reason to wear comfy clothes. I walk back to my desk and put on a simple chain bracelet, coal black eyeliner, and mascara. Finally, I pull on my best combat boots and walk out to the kitchen. My father cringes as he sees me.

"You're wearing that?" I do my best to glare at him, but I sort of know he'd be upset.

My mother gives him the 'not now' look, and I can't help but snicker. She sets a plate of scrambled eggs in front of me and squeezes my shoulder. Most of the people in dauntless don't cook, let alone eat 'stiff food' like eggs. To me, the simplicity that we have in our lives, even if it's just a meal once in a while, is comforting.

"Thank you" instead of responding, my mother just pulls me into her arms. We stay like this a second before she says anything.

"Are you okay?" Her abnegation is showing again.

"Perfect", I say between forkfuls of breakfast.

My father smiles at me. "There are some things we need to talk about."

I look up from my food. Do they know that I'm divergent? They couldn't.

"It's okay", my mother laughs. "During training, it's probably best if you call us 'four' and 'six'. If you end up at the top of the initiates, people might think that we chose you because you are family." I nod along as she talks. I am just thankful that they don't know my secret, yet. "And you have to stay in the dorms; it's a rule. Other than that, training is going to be tough, but you'll get to make new friends, learn a few things, and maybe even fall in love." She stops to look at my father. After being together for seventeen years, they are still in love.

I hug my parents before walking to the door. "Wait, Calah. When you get off the train, be brave" my father calls after me. I walk down to one of the lower floors to meet my best friend. I knock on the door that is already partially open, and I see Huxley standing in the kitchen having a lively, candor-like debate with her mom, my aunt Christina, and her dad, my uncle will. They all smile when they see me.

Huxley doesn't look all that much like either of her parents. She has black hair met with celery green eyes, a medium complexion, slender nose, and full lips. I have always envied the way she looks and the way others look at her.

"Come in, Cal", Huxley smiles. Apparently the choosing ceremony isn't bothering some people.

"Love you guys. See you after the ceremony!" She beams as we make our way down to the hub.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry if this chapter seems a little abrupt, but I really just wanted to get into initiation. But thanks for reading this far, if you are. –Lil**

Chapter 3

We stand waiting patiently, circled around the factions. My parents position themselves on the stage, alongside Eric, another dauntless leader. My mother finds me in the crowd and gives me a small smile. Suddenly a hush falls over the crowd, and Marcus Eaton, the abnegation leader, brings his hand up to begin. Marcus Eaton is the only leader that I have never met personally. My parents seem to avoid him at all costs.

I have been to this ceremony almost every year since I was born, and nothing ever changes. I tune out, until they start to call names. They begin from the A's this time, and it seems to take forever. Cade Alderson. Jessa Burke. Ella Callaway. Drake Donovan. With every letter, my heart starts to beat faster and faster. Maybe I do want the quiet life in abnegation, always knowing where I belong and never having to be worried about if I could die when I go to work. But, maybe I want the rush of the zip line. Maybe I want the thrill of jumping off of a moving train. Would I be happy if I stayed? I thought that I had already figured everything out.

"Calah Eaton."

My heart sinks as my feet propel me forward slowly. I walk up to the bowls carefully, as if my presence might break them. Marcus looks… shocked. But there is something in the look that sends chills down my spine. I lift the knife that he offers me, shifting it from palm to palm for a second. I finally take it in my right hand, making a long cut down my left. I can barely feel the pain though.

My clenched hand hovers between abnegation and dauntless for a long moment. I am not ready for this. I look away as I release my blood. For a moment, I am not entirely sure what I pick, until I hear the drops sizzle over hot coals.

Young dauntless members pump their fists behind me shouting. I sit down in one of the few spots left towards the front. It's not long before Huxley is called, strutting her way down the aisle to the bowls. The overly confident swing in her walk makes me giggle, which results in a few dirty looks from the candor seated near us. Huxley spills her blood over the coals proudly, just as I knew she would.

The ceremony continues on endlessly with only an occasional transfer, each one receiving a new level of faction disapproval. I look back up at Marcus, who is calling out the last of the names. I had seen him before, even at dauntless to discuss different matters with our leaders. But there was something about him that I just couldn't place. Huxley plops down in the chair beside me and smiles. Then I realize that I am still staring at Marcus. I shake off the feeling; I can snoop around later.

"What is that all about?" Huxley asks me. I didn't really know how to explain it to her.

"Just thinking, I guess" I smile politely at her. I can tell that she knows something is up. Growing up with a parent from Candor and another from Erudite, Huxley can always tell when I am lying and can usually figure out why. Much to her dismay, she represses the urge to ask about it and changes the subject rather quickly.

"So we're finally initiates. We are going to kick ass" she proclaims. I laugh at her.

"I guess so" we sit quietly until it is finally over. Marcus and the other leaders give us a few words of encouragement. When it is time, the dauntless, aside from our leaders, hurl themselves out of the Hub, towards the tracks. All of the transfers manage to catch up to us once we stop at the edge. The train flashes in front of us, and we take off in a sprint. This was my first act of bravery when I was young. I grab hold of the last car's railing. I slide the door open for the transfers. Huxley and I help five transfers in before the path drops off from the side of the tracks. Everyone made it.

I look around to see two rather handsome erudite boys, two candor, a girl and boy who appear to be siblings, and an amity girl. I think her name is River. It is rare for amity to become dauntless. I could probably count on one hand the number of times it had happened before. Like the abnegation, they are raised believing that violence is wrong in any event, and that is what dauntless is known for.

In recent years, the government has been easily encouraging for people to stay in the factions that they were born to, so the numbers of transfers has dropped. Even so, transferring to a different faction is still legally acceptable. It is just more of a taboo than ever before.

"Where is the dauntless compound located exactly?" One of the boys from erudite finally speaks up. He is tall and lanky, with dark blonde hair and hazel colored eyes. He is attractive to say the least.

Huxley represses a smile. "You'll find out soon" she says sinking to the floor.

It was a long ride through the city, as normal. Huxley and I sit next to the door, while the transfers make small talk on the other side of the car. We start to get close to the dauntless sector. I can see the old glass building gleaming ahead of the tracks. I slide the door open and stand, bearing my weight against the wind that floods the car. All of the transfers look confused.

"Be brave" I say just before throwing myself out onto a nearby roof. I stumble a bit but land on my feet. Huxley follows, falling to her knees as she does. But she stands up almost instantly. The transfers fly out of the car, screaming and panicking. Each one hits the ground harder than the last. Once everyone has gotten to their feet again, we walk to Eric who is balancing on the edge of the roof.

"Welcome to dauntless. I am Eric, and I am your leader. Well, one of them" he mutters. "You may have heard things about dauntless. They are all true" he gives us a wicked smile which pulls at his piercings. "I do not waste time explaining and getting to know each other, so let's get into it. First, you must commit one small act of bravery right now." Eric pauses, combing through us with his eyes, measuring us like his prey. "Jump" he commands pointing at the ledge.

There is a small gasp from the candor boy which causes Eric to smirk.

"Who's first? Eric toys.

Without thinking, my hand pushes straight up in the air. I am the only one.

"Must run in the family. Well go ahead then." This causes a look from everyone, except for Huxley. She knows my parents far too well.

I scale my way up the half-wall. I am really pretty short, so it takes more effort than it should. Most of the dauntless-born laugh, including Eric.

I look down and see a massive hole in the roof, stories below me. I don't bother to look back at the others. They cannot afford to lose anyone. They won't kill us. I jump. Everything slows down, and I can feel adrenaline pulsing through my body. I am engulfed in the black hole. Suddenly, there is a snap across my back. A net.

I laugh for a second. _They won't kill us. _Of course they would. They just haven't tried yet. There is a pull on one side of the net. I start to roll down, until I feel someone catch me. My father. He helps me onto the platform, which is when I see my mother standing beside him. In this moment, when my parents look at me, I really do know that they are proud.

"First jumper, Calah" my father shouts, cheers erupting from the small audience. "Welcome back to dauntless." I walk over to left side of the room and wait. I hope I made the right decision.


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay, so now that they are finally through the choosing ceremony and they are back at dauntless, the story will hopefully pick up a little bit. New friendships, relationships, parties… scandal. [And no. Not really inappropriate scandal. I know what you were thinking] Don't worry. I have a plan. –Lil:]**

Chapter 4

I watch the rest of the initiates drop one by one, and as expected, the dauntless-born jump first. But, I didn't expect to see a ball of red and yellow fall into the net next. River sits up, pushing the chocolate colored, ringlet curls away from her overwhelmingly blue eyes. It is strange. Most transfers look utterly terrified after the first time they jump. River looks, well, exhilarated. She crawls down onto the platform right before the handsome erudite hits.

"Ninth jumper, Henry!" Everyone begins to cheer again, though at this point, most of the excitement has died down.

Henry. It's not a unique name, but it's a nice name. It's an erudite name.

The candor siblings jump next, followed by the other erudite.

"Alright!" My father yells. "I am four. This is six" he says pointing towards my mother.

Before he can continue, I hear the erudite boy, Brian, let out a derogatory sounding snicker. "Are those your real names?" He smirks.

Here we go.

My father moves right in his face. "Yes? Is there something wrong with that?"

If he wasn't my father, he would definitely scare me.

"No" Brian lowers his head as his voice cracks.

"Well I have to say, Brian" he spits his name out like venom. "I am used to candor smart-mouths, but now I have to hear it from the erudite too. The first lesson you will learn from me is to keep your mouth shut. Got that?"

Brian nods his head.

My mother said that someone is always stupid enough to question him about his name, and this is how he always responds.

"As I was saying, Six and I usually work as dauntless leaders, but for the next few weeks, we will be your instructors."

"If you follow us, we will show you to the pit" he says suddenly calmer.

My parents talk quietly to each other ahead. Huxley nudges me in the side with her elbow.

"Zeke bet my dad ten bucks that he would do that" she whispers.

I laugh under my breath.

We push through the doors of the pit. I saw it just before I left for the ceremony, but it feels different now. It feels new to me. All of the transfers gawk. I imagine if I came from a place like the erudite compound, it would amaze me too. Hell, it still does sometimes.

"This is the pit" my mother says plainly. "This is where all of the shops and restaurants in dauntless are located. There are no stairs. You will take the paths along the walls."

I see the candor girl in the back turn an awful shade of green. This is probably the worst place you can be with a fear of heights. I always thought that it was freeing in a way.

"You will learn to love it."

I really doubt that the candor girl will learn to love it.

My parents turn back around, and we follow them through a set of double-doors on the other side of the pit. When we walk in, I immediately regret being at the front of the group.

"This is the chasm!" My father yells. I can still barely hear him over the sound of water crashing roughly into the rocks.

"The chasm reminds us that there is a fine line between bravery and idiocy. A daredevil jump over this ledge will end your life. It has happened before and it will happen again. You've been warned."

We all file back into the pit and head up one of the paths, to the dining hall. The candor girl, as well as the annoying erudite boy, seems to cling to the wall as we walk.

I am surrounded by cheer and laughter. We walk through the line to get food then continue to our respected tables. The transfers fill in the gaps.

River smiles politely at Huxley and me. "May I sit with you?" I move, giving her space to sit down.

"Calah and Huxley, right?" I nod and Huxley throws out a hand.

"The one and only" We all smile. Henry and Brian sit down across from us, while the candor siblings sit at the table next to Huxley. Henry smiles at me, and I am sure that my face is bright red. But, his is too.

"Can you believe that four guy?" Brian grumbles grabbing the burger off of his tray.

Huxley and I exchange a look.

"What?" Brian growls.

Huxley is the one to answer him. "At dauntless, you don't question any higher-up, especially a leader or trainer. You probably shouldn't even talk to them. You fall in line. That's it."

He gives her some kind of a death glare and storms off to a table across the room with his tray. I probably shouldn't but I can't help it. I look at henry.

"Are you two… friends?" I ask him carefully.

He smiles. "Enemies, actually" henry reassures me. "I'm sure that you already know, but there are people at erudite who seek power above everything else. They will resort to anything to get what they want. Brian is one of those people." I nod knowingly. Eric comes to mind.

"We will be doing things differently this year" my father informs us. "Because there are only twelve of you all together, we have been permitted to separate you how we see fit. So, girls you may follow six. You will be on the right side of the hall. And boys will follow me to the left side of the hall."

Our group splits up unevenly. I follow my mother with the other girls as we head towards the dormitories. There are five girls, Quinn [the candor girl], Jorgi [a dauntless-born], River, Huxley, and me. There are seven boys.

I notice that there are ten beds. They must have been expecting a lot more transfer wise. Huxley and I flop down on two cots near the door.

"Both bathrooms are down the hallway. If you need anything, just ask" she says giving me one last look. "Lights out."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

I wake up in the middle of the night with the same nightmare as the last.

"Choose!"

I throw myself up, gasping for as much air as my lungs can get. My heart is pounding out of my chest. I feel helpless. Huxley reaches across from her cot and grabs my arm.

"What's wrong?" She is now completely awake.

I flail my hand against my chest.

"Calah, what's wrong?" Huxley presses.

River gets out of her bed and turns on the lights.

"I, I can't" I pause trying to catch my breath. "Can't breathe." Huxley's eyes grow wide.

"It's just a panic attack. You've gotten them before. You used to get them all the time when you were a kid, right? Just calm down." I force a laugh at her.

_Just calm down? _If I could calm down, then it wouldn't really be a panic attack.

"Alright. Then focus on training tomorrow. That Henry guy will be there, the cute erudite I saw you looking at. Or focus on my final grades from school. Those were a joke. Oooooh dauntless cake." Huxley rambles. I'm not really sure how her thought processes work.

But, it seems to help me. I feel myself start to cool off a bit.

"Are you okay" River asks staring at me, along with the rest of the girls in the dorm.

I realize that my hand is still clutching my chest, and I am still panting.

"Yea, uh, thanks. Sorry that I woke you all up. I'm fine, go back to bed" I insist releasing my hand from my shirt.

River gives me a small smile and goes back to sleep. Once everyone else has dozed off, I sneak out of the dorm. I don't like wandering around the compound in the middle of the night, but I feel like I need time to think before I have another nightmare. I walk along the paths inside the pit, but I can't bring myself to go anywhere near the chasm. I know that it will be in my fear landscape. I will dread every minute of it.

Just as last night, I fall back into bed around three in the morning. I am thankful that Huxley didn't wake up while I was gone. I am sure that I will tell her about my divergence someday, because it is undoubtedly causing my nightmares. But, I have no intention of doing it right now.

"So what was up with that panic attack last night? What happened?" Huxley asks me at breakfast.

I pick at my eggs and bacon, attempting to avoid the question.

"What panic attack?" Henry asks innocently, sitting down across from us. I am still avoiding the question.

Huxley answers for me. "She woke up at like one in the morning freaking out." Yea, thanks Huxley. I wanted him to know that I freaked out on my first night of initiation.

Henry looks intrigued. It must be the erudite left in him.

"That is interesting. There are various causes for them though" he continues. "It can often be biological or it can be passed down in the family." Huxley interrupts him.

"I know her family. It's not the problem." Huxley seems more interested now.

"Okay. Well it can also be from a fear or phobia, or a stressful event, or" I stop him.

"It was a nightmare. It happened the night before last night too, and I just really can't talk about it. Sorry."

Huxley gives me one of those 'I will find out eventually' looks, and Henry just looks curious.

"Hey, shouldn't we get down to the training room. I mean, the trainers seem nice enough, but if we are late…" henry trails off, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Uh, yea, let's go" I say with a half-smile. I really don't like hiding things- my nightmares, test results, who my parents are. I will just have to deal with it. I knew that I would when I chose dauntless.

"Welcome, initiates" my mother yells getting our attention.

When we are all focused, my father starts to explain the process of initiation to us. "There are three stages of initiation. The first is primarily physical, the second emotional, and the third mental. These stages are not all weighed equally though. Today, we will start stage one with learning how to shoot a gun" he says as my mother picks one up.

She seems to assess the gun in her hands for a moment before taking her stance. Ready. Aim. Fire.

The bullet hits dead center. Some of the initiates make impressed noises, while others like Brian just scoff.

"What does this prove anyways? Obviously, when we make it into dauntless, there will be more training for things like this. This is the first time for most of us to even be touching a gun. Others will have an unfair advantage" Brian says motioning towards all of the dauntless-born.

My father takes this opportunity to move closer to him. "If you are afraid of your abilities, then maybe you shouldn't be in dauntless. If you feel like it's not worth it, then you can leave now and not waste my time."

Brian shuts up immediately. For being so cocky, he really is a coward.

My father returns to his spot in front of the entire group. "As for the rest of you who might have been wondering, we do take into consideration that the dauntless-born have fought and used weapons before. But no one will be able to prepare for stage two and three." He pauses and looks at Mom. He is probably wondering if she has anything to add to the discussion.

"Grab a gun and go to a target" she finishes for him.

I was honestly pretty excited about getting to shoot. My parents used to take me to the training rooms to practice after school. I set myself up. I press my finger to the trigger, and the first round hits dead center, just like my mom's had. I can feel them smiling at me.

"Nice shot" Henry whispers from the target next to me. I smile at him, and I can feel the heat rise in my cheeks again. On my other side, Huxley shoots off six rounds, all hitting the center or close to the center. She beams as she examines her target.

I was surprised to see that River was the first transfer to hit the center of her target. Henry was the next. "Nice shot" I tell him. This time, he is the one to blush.

I knew that it was sort of mean, but it made me feel better that Brian let off four rounds before even grazing the edge. It looked like my parents had noticed too, because my father was smirking at him. No wonder why he didn't want today to count.

"Okay! Go to lunch. You have an hour!" My father dismisses us.

Everyone else starts to file out of the room, including Henry and Huxley.

"You guys go ahead. I have to ask a question about my shooting stance" I fib.

Henry nods, and Huxley gives me a pointed look. She knows that it was a total lie. But, come on. I can't see my parents every day and not talk to them.

When everyone is gone, I hop up on the table with all of the guns.

"Your shooting was great today" my father says smiling. "Must have had an amazing teacher."

I laugh. My father has never really been too subtle.

"So, have you made any friends yet?" My mother asks me. She has always been pretty considerate about things like that. They both have.

"Aside from Huxley? Well River, the amity, and Henry, the nice erudite." I almost whisper the thing about Henry. I don't know why though. I can feel my face heat up as I think about him.

"Oh. You like him don't you?" My mother asks smiling. My father on the other hand, is far from smiling.

I'm not entirely sure if I like him or not. There's definitely something about the way I've been acting, but it's only the first day of training. It could be stupid to even consider a relationship right now.

"What?" pssssh "No. Henry and I are, I guess, becoming friends" I could never be candor. I lie too often. But not very easily. And it's never convincible. Before they can say anything, I interject.

"Alright, I better eat lunch. I will see you for knife throwing" I say practically running out of the room.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

I fling knife after knife into the target, and most manage to hit the center of the board. Knife throwing is a general past time here at the compound, so none of the dauntless-born have any problems. Brian, again, is having major difficulties. We stay like this for a few hours.

"Initiates, tomorrow you will start with sparring and fighting. Get some rest. You are dismissed" my father waves us off.

I see a wave of black hair before I am practically pounced on. I turn to see Huxley with a huge grin across her face.

"What are you smiling about?" The grin is infectious.

"We got invited to a party!" Huxley says a little too loudly. My parents look over at us. They probably know exactly what she just said. I try to nonchalantly pull her out of the room.

"Calm down. And what party? It's only the first day of training." I ask.

"Well Oliver, one of the dauntless-born; I've never really had classes with him. I think you might have though, but…" I hold up my hand to stop her.

"Huxley, you're rambling again" I remind her.

"Oh, sorry. So, his parents work the night shift on the fence now. He invited a few of us to play Candor or Dauntless" she says making air quotes.

I had heard of the game before, but I had never played it. My parents told me that it was a rite of passage after initiation. They also told me that it was a way for guys to get you drunk or naked.

"Let's go shopping!" Huxley jumps up and down.

"It's not a great idea. I mean" she stops me. "No, we are going. You can wear layers. But, we are going to have weeks of training ahead of us. I just want a few hours of freedom." Huxley pleads.

"Fine, I'll go. Let me go tell my parents that we're going shopping" she smiles as I walk back into the room. Once they see me, it is full-on question mode about Huxley's outburst.

"Did I hear that you are going to a party?" My mother asks. "Oh god, they are playing candor or dauntless, aren't they?" My father purses his lips together.

"I am not going to lie" Mostly because they wouldn't believe me anyways. "Yes, we are going to a party. Yes, we are playing candor or dauntless. But, I promise that if anything bad or stupid is about to happen, I will leave and drag Huxley with me." I can see that my father is about to protest. "I promise. Now, I came to tell you that Huxley and I are going shopping down at the pit. I love you. Goodbye." I run out to catch Huxley.

I know that they are probably mad at me. I know that for the moment, I don't really care.

A few minutes later, Huxley, River, and I are down in the pit.

"What's up with you and Mr. erudite, Calah" Huxley interrogates me, as I flip through the racks of black clothing.

"Well, I uhhhh, I don't know. I could like him, but I'm not sure and don't really know if I want a relationship at the beginning of initiation. Two people are going home."

"Oh please, Calah. Just on the first day, he definitely made an impression on your…uh…the trainers." Nice going Huxley. "He is staying. Not too sure about Brian, thank god." She pauses. "My point is: Henry isn't going anywhere. If you want him, then go after him."

Huxley does have a point. River nods in agreement smiling.

We finally leave the shops hauling at least four bags each. I bought some normal clothes for training, as well as an outfit for tonight. We were supposed to be at the party around seven and had about two hours to get ready.

The three of us start to make our way up to the members' apartments later that night. I can hear the music when I reach the door. A tall guy opens it. He has black hair, green eyes, and an undeniable grin across his lips. He is… charming. Gorgeous.

"Welcome girls" he ushers us in with his arm, revealing an intricate black tattoo down to his wrist. I have a weakness for tattoos. "Everyone is here" he says turning down the music. "Party is over. 'Candor or dauntless' time. You know the rules. Don't answer the question or take the dare, take a piece of clothing off" Oliver smiles as we sit down in a circle. Most everyone has left, leaving a dauntless-born initiate, Quinn and Alex [the candor siblings], Henry, River, Huxley, and me.

I ended up wearing a fitted leather skirt [upon Huxley's request] and leggings, a cami, a black tank top with roses, a dark sheer blouse, and combat boots. I hope that it would be enough layering. The last thing I want is for Henry or Oliver to see me naked. Wait, Oliver? Why do I care what he thinks? I like Henry, maybe.

"Okay, I'll go first" he says sitting down between Huxley and me. "River, candor or dauntless?"

"Candor" she smiles. "Why did you want to leave amity?"

She thinks about it for a moment, either trying to come up with one good response or sorting through a million.

"You're not allowed to do anything without thinking of how it could upset others, first. Kindness only, no fighting. It gets boring."

Honestly, she didn't seem like the type of person to pick a fight. On the other hand, I could have just been seeing the side of her that was raised without violence. Either way, she has proved just within two days that she belongs here.

"Huxley, candor or dauntless?"

"Who am I? Dauntless!"

"Okay. Kiss the first person you see in the pit and tell us what happened when you get back." River is smirking as Huxley gets up to leave.

The dauntless-born guy, Cameron, gets up too. "I'll be her witness" Cameron offers.

The two of them leave and come back a few minutes later giggling like idiots.

"What happened" River presses. They both smile.

"Cameron was the first person I saw in the pit" Huxley laughs sitting back down next to him. She looks around for her next victim. Please don't pick me. "Calah, candor or dauntless?" Damn it. This could go badly either way.

"Candor" I reply gingerly.

"Do you like anyone who is currently in this room" Huxley asks grinning. I could answer yes and be bombarded with questions about it, or I could take off my shirt and give them the answer anyways.

"Yes" I don't give anyone time to question.

"Umm" I knew who I was going to pick when Huxley called me. "Oliver, candor or dauntless?"

It feels ridiculous, but I want to know more about him.

"Dauntless all the way."

"Get a tattoo, River's pick" I tell him.

For a minute, Oliver looks like he might actually do it, but seems to change his mind instead.

"Hell no. She'll probably make me get a rainbow on my ass." And River doesn't deny it.

Oliver stands up and takes his shirt off, fully exposing his black sleeve and a tattoo of wings that covers his entire back. Beautiful. Wait, what? What is wrong with me? This is wrong.

Oliver can clearly see me gawking at him.

"See something you like?" Oliver asks winking at me. Everyone starts to laugh and I can feel the heat rising in my cheeks.

"My turn! Ermmmm… Cameron. Candor or dauntless, my friend?" Oliver asks wiggling his eyebrows.

"Dauntless." I know exactly what's coming up.

"Play seven minutes in heaven with Huxley." Cameron smiles and pulls Huxley towards one of the bedrooms. We wait in silence. After seven minutes, we push open the door. Cameron and Huxley are sprawled out on the bed making out. She gets up in one swift motion, flipping her hair, and prances back to her spot on the floor.

"Calah, candor or dauntless?" I let out a sigh. "Dauntless."

"Hmmm… interesting. Sit in Oliver's lap for the rest of the game." I look over at him in permission. "Well, come on over then." I think about it. I could be embarrassed for sitting in a shirtless guy's lap or I could be rude and embarrassed by taking off my clothes.

I get up and slide into his lap. Oliver sets one hand on my waist which sends shivers up my spine.

"I, uh, Henry. Candor or dauntless?"

"Candor, maybe" he replies pushing his glasses up his nose.

"Has anyone ever seen you naked" it may have been lame, but it meant more than one thing.

"No" Henry replies flatly.

"Quinn, candor or dauntless?"

"Candor."

"What is your biggest fear?"

She looks down and mumbles. "What's that, Quinn?"

"Turtles! Turtles freak me out!" With that we all bust out laughing including her brother, Alex. She hauls off and punches him then storms out.

"Then there were seven" Oliver chimes in.

"I'll go!" Huxley shouts. "Alex, candor or dauntless?"

"Dauntless."

"Heh. Switch clothes with River and walk around in the pit for ten minutes." Alex looks over at River. She is wearing a long black skirt that is cut up the left leg, a tank top, and a lace over-shirt.

"No offence River, but I would never hear the end of it" he takes off his shirt.

Two hours later, Henry and Oliver are in their boxers, Cameron and Alex are in their jeans, a drunken Huxley is in a bra and underwear, a tipsy River is in a bra and skirt, and I am still in a cami and leggings.

"Come on, Stiff! Let loose!" Huxley shouts at me. "Candor or dauntless?"

"Dauntless."

"Strip down to your underwear and run around the compound" She slurs. "Huxley, I"

"Come on. Do it for your Ollie!" Apparently, Huxley is a total ass when she's drunk.

I start to get up from Oliver's lap. "You're going to do it?" Huxley asks laughing.

I feel like I'm about to cry, but there is no way that I will in front of a bunch of people I barely know, let alone guys that I like. I don't answer her. I turn back to Oliver.

"Thanks for inviting us. We should probably get going though. Fighting and everything tomorrow" I manage to croak.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

I look away from his eyes. I really don't want him to see me upset.

"Nothing. Thanks." I say walking over to Huxley. I am absolutely mad with her. But, I'm not going to leave her drunk at a party on the first night of training. I haul her to her feet and walk out of the apartment.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"Oh my" Huxley pauses to throw up yet again. "God. What did I do last night?"

I was reluctant to tell her. On one hand, she got drunk and made an ass out of the both of us. On the other hand, I let her drink when I wasn't really supposed to. Huxley had had alcohol before, and I knew that something like this would happen. But, she needed to know.

"Well, you got into a drinking contest with River. You are a lightweight. Then, you made fun of me, and dared me to run around the compound naked for my Ollie" I say making air quotes around Ollie. "After that, I told Oliver thank you and helped you stumble back to your bed. You got up multiple times to throw up."

"Oh trust me. I remember that part" Huxley adds wiping her mouth. "Calah, I am so sorry. We shouldn't have gone. I shouldn't have taken that dare" she pleads.

"Ah, forget about it. He probably thinks that I'm a dweeb anyways. Make it up to me by brushing your teeth."

I make sure to get to the training room at least ten minutes before everyone else. I walk in and see my parents setting up the punching bags along the far wall. My father looks upset when he sees me. I know he is mad about the party, but he probably won't question me, at least not until he sees how sick Huxley is. They both continue to hang up punching bags and something finally occurs to me.

"Where has Eric been? He's supposed to be helping with the training and terrifying transfers" I say reminding them.

They both seem to be holding their tongues, like they know exactly what is going on.

"He has been suspended for a while" my mother reveals.

"From training initiates or working entirely? And, why?" I ask, suddenly extremely curious.

"Eric is suspended from everything. There is an investigation going on about his… policies." My father tells me. I must still look curious, so he tries to continue.

"It involves the killing of a certain group of people. That is all we can tell you. We actually weren't supposed to tell you that much."

Could they mean divergent? Tori told me that it was dangerous, but do they really kill them? My parents know about the divergent?

They return to hanging up the final bags when Oliver walks in. He strides right over to me and gives me a gracious smile.

"Good morning, Calah."

"Morning. Hey, uh, sorry about last night." I say attempting not to sound as nervous as I am.

"It's cool. I had fun. How is Huxley by the way?"

"Hung-over beyond redemption. Training is going to be pretty rough today." I reply realizing that my parents are eavesdropping. I can tell by the look on my father's face that he is furious. This is not going to be good.

I know that he isn't going to yell at me in front of Oliver. We agreed to keep the fact that I am their daughter a secret for as long as possible. However, my father would absolutely yell at us in a group. The fact that Huxley, and probably River, are hung-over is perfect ammunition for a rant.

The rest of the initiates start to drift in one by one. Huxley finally walks in followed by River. They both look exhausted. Surprisingly, so do Henry and Cameron. They probably stayed long after Huxley and I left.

We all start to gather around my parents so they can explain about fighting techniques.

"Last night, I laid down attempting to get a good night's sleep, and I was interrupted by the sound of teenage stupidity" my father says with a slight grin on his face. "Yes, on the first night of training, you decided to throw a party. Those of you who did not attend, may thank your fellow initiates. Instead of going over techniques, you will start sparring this morning."

He looks around at us for a moment.

"Huxley, Calah, in the ring." Somehow, I knew that this was going to happen.

Huxley groans as she steps onto the minimally padded platform. I follow her and put my hands up.

"Promise me one thing?" I ask.

"What?"

"Just, don't throw up on me. I can take getting beaten up, but I can't take getting barfed on too."

"No promises."

We circle around each other for a moment, before I lunge at her. My foot hits right in the middle of her chest. It's manages to knock the wind out of her, but is still barely effective. At the moment, I'm just hoping that I can do something to get her to concede. I don't want either of us to get seriously hurt.

Huxley stumbles back but throws out a fist, hitting me in the jaw, then another to my nose. This time I kick at the back of her legs. She falls to her knees. I push her down to the floor and pin her. Though, I am not heavy enough to keep down, and she flips me. My head hits the ground, hard. I cry out in pain. I get in one last kick to her mouth before the world around me goes black.

It feels like hours before I wake up. But, I guess in reality that it was just a minute or so. I stare up at the ceiling of the training room and see my parents and friends around me. My father just shakes his head when he sees my eyes flutter open.

"It was only sparring" he laughs. Luckily he doesn't seem as mad now. If he had been yelling, my head might actually explode.

Huxley and I just look at each other. We had always been competitive. Even when it was just supposed to be a friendly fight, it always ended in an all-out war. I start to sit up before I feel blood drip down onto my pants. I hadn't noticed how bad my nose was due to my head. It still doesn't feel like much over the throbbing in my skull.

"Damn, Hux. I think you broke my nose." I say wiping away some of the blood with my sleeve. I seem to have left my mark on her too. Her lip is split and swollen, and her chest will probably have a nice sized bruise.

My mother helps me to my feet. "Oliver, would you take Calah to the infirmary?" Telling by the smile on her lips, she knows exactly how I feel about it. My father however looks less than pleased with her.

"Sure" Oliver replies grinning like an idiot.


	8. Chapter 8

**This isn't exactly related to the Fanfiction, but I uploaded a video on YouTube of my divergent dream cast. If you want to see it, it is under the screen name Lillianwest1313 as "Alternate Divergent Cast". Related to the Fanfiction, I really want to speed initiation up a little bit so that I can get to the good part of the story. However, it might not happen like that. Please be patient. –Lil**

Chapter 8

"Nothing is broken, just swollen. Your head is a different story though. You will have to sit out for a few days" Aunt Christina says, prodding at my nose. "So, how did this happen anyways?"

"Well, uh, Huxley." I reply, avoiding her face.

"What? Huxley did this to you?"

"We were supposed to be fighting. She won."

"Actually, they were supposed to be sparring." Oliver adds. I glare at him from the corner of my eye.

"I'm going to kill your dad! I told him not to pair you two up." Christina huffs.

"Shhhh." It looks like Oliver has caught on, his eyes practically bulging out of his head. I am too late.

"Wait, Four is your dad? That makes Six your mom? Wow."

"Thanks" I say directing my attention back to my aunt.

"Sorry, I forgot" she checks the bandage on the back of my head and goes to grab some paperwork. The door clicks shut.

Fifteen minutes later, we are walking side by side back to the training room. Neither of us has said a word since we left my infirmary room. The silence is killing me.

"I am not going to tell anyone, if you're worried. I understand why you wouldn't tell anyone. But, if this morning was any proof, they're definitely not giving you special treatment." Oliver reassures me.

"Thanks." I don't know what else to say. _Sorry I didn't tell you that we're related? _I barely know the guy. And I promised my parents that I wouldn't say anything. Then again, they promised me that training was going to be fun. Maybe I should explain though.

I stop in the middle of the empty hallway. "I'm sorry. A lot of people would think that if I did well, then …" he gives me a puzzled look.

"What?" I ask.

"Why do you apologize so much?" Oliver asks me more serious now.

My cheeks feel like they're on fire, so I look away. His fingers embrace my chin and pull my face to look at him.

"You don't have to be embarrassed around me." I fall helplessly into his emerald green eyes. Oliver pulls me closer and brushes his lips against mine. He pulls back after a second.

"I like you. So, now we're both a little embarrassed." He smiles and pecks my lips once more, before lacing our fingers together. I can't help but beam. Oliver starts to pull me forward, but I stop him.

"I like you too." He shakes his head with a smile.

"I knew you did" Oliver retorts. This time, I pull us together and kiss him deeply. I look back up at his face.

"Okay. Let's go" I laugh walking back towards the training room.

The rest of the day is spent sparring and practicing technique. As Cameron and Alex spar inside the ring, the rest of us are working on punching bags.

My mother stands ten feet behind me, watching my skill.

"Calah" I stop for a minute to look at her. "Use your knees and elbows. You are small, but you can get more force behind them." I nod as she walks over to help Quinn with what looks like the same problem. Though Quinn isn't nearly as short as me, she is still dangerously thin.

Sometimes I forget that my mother had also been an initiate at one time. She is so strong and brave that it's hard to picture her in the position that I'm in now.

I turn back to practicing and catch Oliver looking at me.

"See something you like, Oliver?" He nods, playing with a puppy dog look on his face.

"Initiates! Focus on the task you were given." My father shouts. He gives Oliver a death glare before returning to sparring.

I go back to the dormitory rather than go to dinner. It appears to be empty when I walk in. I sit down on my bed and examine my wounds. There are bruises on my elbows and my knuckles are bloodied and swollen. I honestly don't want to see what my face looks like.

I let out a raspy breath and lie back. For a moment, I wonder what it would be like to have chosen abnegation. Their first day of training probably did not involve jumping off of a building. They absolutely don't have to worry about becoming factionless. I could have had a quiet life, and I wouldn't have had to worry about someone finding out my divergence through simulations. I would have gotten to see my grandparents more than once a year. I might have been happy.

No. I am not regretting my decision. I love my parents. Here, I have them, my aunts and uncles, my friends, and Oliver, whatever we are.

_What am I to Oliver? _Granted, it is also sort of an absurd thought. Totally absurd. We kissed, which might not mean anything to him, and we admitted to liking each other, which also might not mean anything. But, he wanted me to meet him in half an hour. I know I want to be more.

During the rest of training today, all I could think about was that it was unfair to Henry. Did I lead him on? I did flirt with him, and he could have flirted back. No. This entire though process is stupid. I barely flirted, he was nice. Henry is my friend. Oliver and I are… whatever we are.

Whatever we are, I am about to find out.


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry, I know that I haven't updated in a while, but I was on a family vacation, then I honestly just didn't get around to it once we got back. I also wanted to let you know that I redid the rest of the chapters. I didn't change any of the story. I added some details, fixed grammatical errors, and reworded a few sentences. In any case, here is chapter 9:] –Lil**

Chapter 9

Oliver smiles at me when I find him near the net.

"I was starting think that you weren't going to show." Before I reply, he takes my hand and leads me up the platform.

"What's going on?" I ask suddenly suspicious.

"I wanted to show you something" he says, hoisting himself up into the net. "You see. Because the compound is underground, there are things that we rarely see for ourselves" Oliver positions himself and offers me his hand.

I give him one hand and place the other firmly on the edge of the net. He lifts me easily off the ground, his muscles contracting under his black t-shirt. Oliver starts to crawl to the center, so I follow him. We lay down side by side, so close that I feel every breath between us.

"Look up."

I move my head up towards the massive hole in the roof, and see an arrange of stars. Every constellation there just for us. The sight is enough to take my breath away.

"Oliver, it's… amazing." I smile at him. _Amazing _is hardly enough to describe the way it makes me feel, but it's the only word I can find.

Being in dauntless, I rarely see stars, not like this. We are a few of the lucky ones that have windows in our apartment, but it just feels so much more personal this way. There is no glass separating me from the outside world. This is pure.

"You like it?" Oliver asks already knowing what my answer will be.

"So much" I add before he takes away the remaining space between us. I've never even been this close to anyone before. It makes me feel nervous. I think I like it.

Oliver props himself up on his elbow and fits his other hand to the side of my face, hooking his fingers around my ear. I pull forward, deepening our kiss. We pull back a few minutes later, out of breath. I look back up to the stars and lay my head against Oliver's chest. His heartbeat keeps a steady rhythm in time.

"So, Calah Eaton, will you go out with me" he asks suddenly.

I think about it for a second. I don't let myself have moments like these often, the moments where I am content, happy even. Where things seem right. On most days, the things that I do for fun, I do for others. I shop and go to parties for Huxley. I started shooting and knife throwing for my parents. I studied and got good grades for my teachers. But this desire is selfish. This desire is right.

"Yes" is all I manage to say before his lips crash into mine again. And I let them, happily.

"We will be fighting again today" my mother announces pulling our attention towards her. "The pairs are: Quinn vs. River, Cameron vs. Henry, Calah vs. Jorgi, Huxley vs. Alex, Oliver vs. Brian, and Ash vs. Hunter" my father finishes before moving towards the ring. "Quinn vs. River. Let's go!"

River actually looks rather giddy for her first fight. Or maybe she is just excited because she did not get paired up with anyone who was excessively stronger than herself. She steps confidently onto the platform, waiting for her partner. Quinn takes a shaky breath before getting into position. My father nods slightly, encouraging them to begin. I really don't want to watch two of my friends fight though.

River takes the first punch, steering her fist towards Quinn's cheek, though River is clearly holding back most of her strength. This is something that I am thankful for. Most people at dauntless would see holding back as a sign of weakness. Quinn narrowly dodges the hit, letting River's hand skim her face, and brings a fist back to River's stomach. It doesn't look effective in the least.

River brings the heel of her hand to Quinn's ear, causing her to stumble back. Noticing the advantage, she quickly sweeps Quinn's legs out from under her and lands a solid strike to the side of her neck. Quinn falls, no longer able to receive air. It was an undeniably brilliant move on River's part- one that the dauntless do not teach. The reason being that it causes enough damage to disable your partner, but not enough to seriously hurt the person. Most dauntless are about long lasting, brute force. This move was well thought out, erudite almost- if the erudite ever actually fought.

Quinn flails an arm around in the air to signal the end of the fight. My parents finally got their way this year, permitting forfeit in the fighting. It drops your score, but it can also keep you out of the infirmary. River extends a hand out to Quinn, who takes it gladly. My mother smiles slightly at the two and circles the name on her clipboard.

In the next fight, Cameron effortlessly subdues Henry. I'm sure that it's one of the perks of growing up in dauntless. When it's my turn to fight, I am sort of worried. While Jorgi is a pleasant enough person, she tends to fight dirty in the ring. I am not the best fighter to begin with, but when you account for my size and the overall beating I got yesterday, the outcome is not looking all that great.

I walk up onto the platform with my head held high, ignoring the throbbing under the bandage when I do so. Jorgi and I face each other with our fists up. I know that I should be sitting out under Aunt Christina's orders, but as far as I know, she hasn't told my parents that detail yet. There is no way that I will be the one to remind them.

My father nods, and I throw a punch out at Jorgi's hip. I hear a slight groan behind her gritted teeth. She lunges out at me. I do my best to side step, but I feel her fist connect with my already swollen nose. I ignore the blood seeping its way down my face and hit her as hard as I can in the abdomen. She doubles over in pain before I hit her again in the back. Jorgi falls clutching at her stomach. She is still fully conscious but she doesn't bother to stand back up. I look at my mother who is already circling my name.

Without a word, I turn back around and help Jorgi to her feet. I am still mad about my nose, but we will all have to fight each other eventually. There is no use in being upset.

I help Jorgi to the infirmary to see Aunt Christina. I am here to make sure that I didn't seriously hurt one of my friends and to make sure that one of my friends didn't seriously hurt me. We walk into the waiting room quietly. My parents' friend, Marlene, looks up from her secretary desk long enough to know why we are here. I have a hand around my nose, hindering the blood flow, and the other keeping Jorgi, who still has a firm clutch on her stomach, upright and walking.

She types something into her computer, before getting up and helping us to a room. Aunt Christina follows her immediately.

"I thought I told you to sit out for a few days" she reprimands while shaking her head. I pause while she checks on Jorgi first. I have to think of a good reason if I don't want her to nark on me to my parents. Aunt Christina turns back. The look she has demands an answer.

"Well, uh, there's an even number this year. I didn't want anyone else's score to drop because of me. Besides I felt great today." I force a laugh to cover up the unsteadiness of my voice.

Jorgi looks back at me. "You could barely even get up this morning. And you winced every time you moved." Apparently I didn't hide it as well as I had thought.

Aunt Christina shakes her head again. "Alright, Jorgi, I'm going to send you to the next room. There they can take a better look at you, and I'm guessing that Calah broke her nose this time with the amount of blood and all." Jorgi sighs and walks over to the next room. It looks like it stopped hurting a bit, but it probably kills her to walk.

Aunt Christina unfolds my hand from my nose. "So, you were clearly in a lot of pain, and you know as well as I do that your parents wouldn't drop another initiate's score because you couldn't fight. They probably wouldn't even drop your score. Why did you fight?"

At the time, it just seemed like a good idea. But I know that there was more to it than that. She does too.

"I guess I just didn't want to seem weak in front of the others. I'm good with knives and guns, but not with fighting. So if I had to sit out, then maybe the others would think that I was just too chicken or whatever. But if I won… I mean, I lost to Huxley yesterday, and she was still pretty, uh, sick."

Aunt Christina smiles. "Don't worry. Your parents told me that she got drunk at the party. They also told me that you got her back to the dorm, even after everything she did. So, thanks for that."

"Wait" I stop her. "How did you know about what she did? I didn't tell my parents that. I didn't actually talk to them about the party. My father was pretty pissed when I left." Aunt Christina is the only adult that I have ever felt safe to curse around. She is the only adult that I generally talk about my life with.

"Huxley felt really bad about making fun of you and that Oliver boy, so she came clean about everything." Despite the things that Huxley does, she always comes clean about them eventually. But she only comes clean right away when she is guilty.

"I'm not mad about it anymore" I reassure her. She nods.

"About you and that Oliver boy" she smiles. "He seemed concerned about you yesterday. What's going on with that?" I give her a glare attempting not to smile, but I do anyways.

"Fine, fine. I'm one hundred percent sure that your nose is broken, but let's get some x-rays anyway. After that, one of the normal doctors can take a look at it, and then we can get you out of here with some painkillers. But, no fighting for the next couple of days." Aunt Christina demands.

"Okay" I laugh.

**I felt that I should warn you. I am actually on another vacation right now. There is wifi, but we are going to Canada tomorrow. There might be a little bit of time before another chapter[ a few days]. Also, fear landscapes are coming up soon, so I will be extremely happy for some input. I know how many fears Calah will have, and I already know some of them. But I could use a few more for ALL of the characters. I would really appreciate it. -Lil**


	10. Chapter 10

**I am again very sorry about the delay. The last couple of weeks have been nuts with band, golf, and our Canada/New York trip. Even right now, I probably should be finishing summer work for one of my honors classes, but I'm in the mood for writing. I am going to do my best to update, however my schedule might not agree with that. So, here is chapter ten. I Hope you enjoy it. –Lil**

Chapter 10

"You should have seen it, Cal. The fight was epic!" Huxley enthuses while sitting down at our normal table in the dining hall. I sit down between Oliver and River. Henry sits across from us, by Huxley. "Oliver totally kicked Brian's ass!" She continues as I laugh. Honestly, I knew he would. Oliver was born in dauntless and is stronger than Brian would ever be. Suddenly, I'm lost in a trance thinking about his muscles, his tattoos, and his undeniable hotness.

"Earth to Calah…" River says waving a hand in front of my face. Oliver smirks as my face starts to heat up. Huxley and River break out in smiles, and Henry, ironically, just looks confused.

"What were you thinking about?" River asks grinning like an idiot.

"Nothing" The word flies out of my mouth all too quickly. Big mistake.

"You're lying" Huxley states.

"Wh…what? No I'm not." I try to steady my voice. "I am not lying."

"Oh come on. We all know what you were thinking about." River presses.

"No we don't. I know what I was thinking, but it wasn't that." Everyone laughs except for Henry, who still hasn't caught on. I desperately want to change the subject.

"So good job on your fights. Uh, anyone want to go get a tattoo?" I actually didn't really ever think of getting a tattoo myself, but it seems to have distracted everyone now. Besides, it's a rite of passage in dauntless. I might as well try it.

Everyone agrees and we start down to the parlor where my parent's friend, Tori, works. When we get there, we see that it is not all that full. Tori sees us and immediately smiles.

"Calah. I was wondering when I would see you in here." She says walking towards our group. "Anyone know what they want?"

Henry and River both bob their heads up and down. Tori signals for them to have a seat at the stations while we look through the designs that are strewn across every bit of the textured walls. There are a lot of flames and dauntless symbols, but I have never cared for any of them. I wanted something more personal. I just didn't know what. Oliver and Huxley look like they are having the same thought.

After what seems like forever, Henry has a book engulfed in flames, on his back. River has part of the dauntless manifesto around her ankle.

"Why the manifesto?" Oliver asks River.

"Well it was the reason that I wanted to be dauntless originally. I've always liked the idea that I could be brave, that I could stand up and protect others. There's a beauty in it." She adds smiling.

I can understand that. It may not be entirely true that the sole purpose anymore is to protect others, but originally, it was beautiful.

"What are you guys getting?" River asks securing the bandage on her leg.

"Well my mom has this symbol on her arm that she got right after she passed initiation. I might not get to see them a lot depending on what job I get, so I think I might want her tattoo." Huxley says nonchalantly. I know that she is trying to act casual about it. But Huxley is really close to her parents. After her brother, Cade, left for Candor two years ago, they grieved with each other. If he had not left, I know that Huxley would have.

"I don't know. I think I'm just going to wait. I already have two anyways." Oliver says, scratching the back of his neck. Everyone turns to me as if they expect a response.

"Uh, I still have to think about it." I admit.

I sit down by the station to watch Tori draw out a sketch of Aunt Christina's old tattoo. Her hands fly effortlessly, and I am instantly mesmerized. My mother always told me that there is art in loosing yourself. I thought that it was just an abnegation kind of thing to do until now.

My mind drifts back to my tattoo. I like Huxley's idea. I don't know where I will be after initiation, if I will even be in dauntless. But a tattoo is permanent. I think I finally have an idea when Tori finishes Huxley's design. It is made of clean black lines in etched formations. Aunt Christina told me that it symbolized honesty. It is simple but forceful in a way, like the both of them.

"Calah, you ready?" I nod and slide into the reclined chair. I set my hand down on the metal armrest which sends chills down my spine.

"What do you want?" Tori asks while cleaning up her equipment.

I motion for her to come closer so that I can whisper what I want. She smiles. I turn my left wrist over and offer it to her.

The pain doesn't bother me in the least. I can tell that the others are trying to look away from the needle as it punctures my skin. I look directly at it. I am amazed with every mark the needle leaves, and I feel like an erudite with newly found information. Tori seems to notice this.

"Your mother is the same way, you know. She told me right before you were born that if she hadn't been chosen as a leader, she probably would've worked here." I smile at this too. We don't tend to talk about the simple things in our family. My parents can be so serious about life, about acting the right way in dauntless, that sometimes it feels like details or trivial facts are really just secrets.

"How did my parents become leaders? They've never told me." I ask.

"Well, right after your mom's initiation, one of the leaders was seriously injured" she pauses to think for a second. "I don't actually remember how. The dauntless are always getting hurt. Anyways, they needed someone to fill the position immediately. They asked your mom, then they begged your mom. Eventually, she said yes. In just two years, she had made a lot of change in the compound. It was more like the original dauntless. So when another leader resigned, your father finally accepted Max's offer. I've known your dad since he was an initiate himself. But, I have never seen him happier than when he found your mom, and it only got better when you were born." Tori explains.

Tori finishes the last line and wraps up my wrist for me. We pay and walk back to the pit before I am bombarded with questions of my 'secret tattoo'. I hear a 'what is it' and 'why can't we see it' until I take off the bandage.

The landscape flows across my wrist in beautiful pieces. I have no idea how Tori managed to remember everything, but she did. Everything is right, from the Ferris wheel to the sunset behind it. This tattoo is my existence. My parents fell in love on this Ferris wheel. My father proposed to my mother here. I remember picnicking with my parents under it when I was younger. I remember when I was fourteen and ditched school. I climbed to the very top and sat all day just to avoid a test in faction history. This tattoo is me.

**This is more of a fluffy chapter, but come on. They are dauntless. They needed tattoos:]**


End file.
